You're married, and you have kids. You find yourself busy fulfilling the roles of a mom or dad, and you forgot about your part of being a husband or wife. All the 'we time' you used to have with your partner now became 'family time'. Over the years, the 'kids time' got prioritised over your 'me time' and 'we time'.
Do you know that having a healthy and loving relationship with your partner sets the foundation for a happy and positive family? Marriage is all about love, respect and understanding. Don't let busy family routines take away those from you. Here are some tips to help connect and strengthen your relationship with your partner.
1. Have 'We' time
Have at least 30 minutes of 'we' time every night before you go to bed. Catching tv series together, or chit-chatting about each other's day is an excellent way to connect.
2. Go on date nights to celebrate anniversaries
Make time to celebrate anniversaries every year. Go the extra mile to plan out date nights for each other. It is okay to splurge once a while for someone you love. Get those flowers, go to that expensive restaurant and dress up! Most importantly, do not talk about kids on your date nights. The night is about both of you.
3. Annual vacation, just the both of you
If you can, go on a mini-vacation once a year, just the both of you. Your mom or sister can handle your kids for a few days. The point is to get you out of your comfort zone and experience something different together.
4. Little gestures
When everyone is busy with life, small gestures can brighten up a person's day. For example, a peck on the cheek before you leave for work, leaving a surprise note in pockets or bags, or saying "I love you", all these are enough to put a smile on your partner's face.
5. Raising a family is a teamwork
Building a family is a team's effort. Help out one another with kids and chores. Share the burden together.
6. Be respectful and understanding
Everyone has their share of views, feelings and experiences. As a couple, it is important to show respect and empathy to each other. Offer support and encouragement. Be a good listener. Sometimes all we need to do is listen and be there for them.
7. Be mindful
When you communicate with your partner, your children are observing. Be mindful on how you speak and act, especially when you're angry and frustrated with your partner. Always communicate respectfully and wisely. And if you really have to sort things out with your partner, do it in the room, away from the kids.
Couples Wellbeing Checklist
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Do I feel loved and respected by my partner?
Do I have time to do things (movies, dinner) with my partner?
Do I give time to listen to my partner's feelings and problems?
Do I confide in my partner about my feelings and problems?
Do I have time to go on a romantic date with my partner?
Do I praise and express gratitude to my partner?