On 19th March, I was delighted to talk about Positive Parenting mindsets alongside Minson from Courtier Consultations. In this live interview, I explained and shared how parents can adopt a positive parenting lifestyle to avoid frustration and reduce conflict with their children.
The goal is for you to reduce yelling, conflict and frustration with your kids. And for you to adopt a new parenting mindset that will help you overcome the common emotional obstacles that can cause a confrontational, unproductive, and bitter relationship with children.
So, let's jump straight into it!
What is positive parenting?
ONE: Positive parenting is a mindset and a lifestyle.
It's not about a specific strategy and method to help you raise the best kids. It's about a mindset to guide you to raise positive, resilient and happier kids.
Are you a parent who values grades and success, or are you a parent who value healthy relationships with kids? Are you a parent who gets upset over children's mistakes and failures, or are you a parent supporting children's learning process? It's how you view a specific situation from a different perspective. This is what I call a positive parenting mindset. It really comes down to how we embrace and model this lifestyle to our children.
In positive parenting, we want to adopt a growth mindset for our kids. We want to value their learning process more so than performance and results. We want to let them know that it is okay to fail and make mistakes and that we will be there to guide them through it all. And more importantly, we want to love them unconditionally.
TWO: Positive parenting is about parents, not children.
Isn't parenting about children? Yes, traditional parenting is for children. But in positive parenting - it is for parents. I'll explain why.
We are primary role models for children. Our actions, behaviour, words, and emotions help shape our children's brain development. In other words, what we say, or do, or feel affects how children perceive and respond to the world around them.
If we're constantly cranky and yelling at kids, they will develop anxiety and fear towards us. And guess what, it will eventually lead to a bitter and negative parent-child relationship. That's why in positive parenting, we stress the importance of mindfulness. We want to be mindful of WHAT and HOW we react to our kids.
THREE: Positive parenting is about parental wellness.
Parental wellness is self-care. Are you getting enough sleep? Are you getting enough me-time to regulate your emotions? Do you have a work-life balance? Do you have downtime for your hobbies?
I always tell parents you can't pour from an empty cup. You'll have to fill your own cup first before you can provide it to your kids. Take care of yourself. It is difficult to be in our best self as parents if we are physically and mentally drained or burned out. That’s why in positive parenting, taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your children.
I have a whole section dedicated to parents on my website. Do check it out here for self-care tips.