Carol Dweck, a world-renowned researcher at Stanford University, discovered a groundbreaking concept - the power of mindset (fixed vs growth mindset). From her research, it is known that people with growth mindsets understand that intelligence can be developed by viewing challenges and obstacles as part of growth instead of failure. Simply means that you are in control of your own ability, and with the right mindset, you can improve and achieve success too. Conversely, for people with a fixed mindset, they understand that skills and abilities are limited and that intelligence can't be developed and enhanced. They tend to see challenges and obstacles as failures and struggle to cope with life difficulties. Parents, the kind of mindset you instilled in children is VERY important. It is the key to develop resilience and courage for them to learn and strive! It teaches them to create and develop a different perspective towards self-defeating comments like "this is so hard, I can't do it", "I'm going to fail" or "I will never be as successful as him." These are the thoughts of a fixed mindset. When you encourage growth mindset, you are guiding children to switch from "I will not make it" to "I can make it." You are guiding them to see challenges as an opportunity to learn and improve. These three ways can help promote growth mindsets in children: 1. Encourage independence and self-autonomy - give children a sense of control of their own lives. "You can do it!" or "I believe in you" are simple words of encouragements to boost their confidence and self-esteem. 2. Declarative communication style - use more open-ended questions to invite children to think and problem-solve instead of giving instructions. "I wonder how can we fix this?" or "Let's think of ways to solve this problem, shall we?" 3. Praise children for their effort in thinking and their independence. "I love how you think and came out with that solution!" or "That's a good idea! Thanks for trying" Children love these positive feedbacks because you acknowledged their effort. Traditional negative parenting styles encourages fixed-mindsets. For parents, switching from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset can be challenging, especially in an Asian setting. But don't let that stop you! Be a positive parent that promotes growth mindset today! Whenever your inner negative voice takes over your parenting style, tell it to stop! Remember, you are in control of your thoughts! Here are five phrases to help kickstart your growth mindset journey with your kids. 1. "It is okay to make mistakes and learn from them."
2. "You are a thinker, not a failure." 3. "When things get hard, it is okay to ask for guidance."
4. "You are a problem solver. If this doesn't work, let's figure something else that works." 5. "If you don't make it the first time, it's okay. You can try again!" Saying these phrases to children will guide them in developing a different perspective towards life obstacle and challenges. Try it today! You'll see a huge difference in how they appraise problems!