WHAT IS POSITIVE COMMUNICATION?

Positive communication speaks love and kindness, emphasizing mutual respect and understanding between parents and children. Unlike traditional parenting style that only focuses on what parents say, positive communication gives attention to children too. Well, communication goes both ways right? Parent's and children's feelings and views should be equally respected. In short, instead of "my way, not your way", it should be"our way" in positive communication. 

How parents communicate, from the tone of voice to phrasing sentences makes a huge impact on children. With children's pre-developed brain, early socio-emotional experiences are crucial for healthy brain growth. Imagine growing up in a family that always give children negative experiences, the child's brain will eventually develop negatively too. Research has shown that children who grew up in negative parenting environment exhibits poor impulse control and are more prone to anxiety, depression.

"Clean this up NOW! I said NOW!"

"Stop touching it or I'll hit you!"

"STOP crying!"

"What is wrong with you?!"

Don't they sound familiar? In Asia, most children experience above at least once or twice a day. From a parent's perspective, you are trying to discipline children. But from the children's point of view, they are not learning because children can't learn in fearful situations.

 

As we know children's brain is not fully developed, when parents get angry, children often find it difficult to comprehend that anger as their reasoning and problem-solving skills are still in the growing stage. Instead of scolding and punishing, children learn best when their parents are regulated (calm and composed). Healthy and positive interaction is one of the most important elements of positive parenting.

 

Instead of scolding or threatening, these are some examples of how you can communicate positively with children:

"Clean this up NOW! I said NOW!"

"You have 5 more minutes to play. After that, let's clean up together."

"Stop touching it or I'll hit you!"

"Let's not touch that, because when you touch, it will break. Why not we just look at it together for a while"

"STOP crying!"

"I know you are upset right now, I'm gonna let you cry. Let's talk about it when you feel better."

"What is wrong with you?!"

"Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

See how both convey the same meaning but in such a different way? Always remember, the quality of your communication affects your child's quality of life. 

Let's look into the benefits of Positive Communication

1. It promotes mutual respect between parent and child, in turn, children will learn to respect others too

2. Boost self-esteem and confidence in children

3. Children will learn to have better and long-lasting social relationships with others

4. Have good self-control and can regulate emotions better

5. Most importantly, parents and children will develop loving and healthy relationships with one another

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